


The Christmas Episode

by Lanesy



Category: Epithet Erased (Cartoon)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Party, F/M, Kissing, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28321869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanesy/pseuds/Lanesy
Summary: Someone snuck some Mistletoe into the precinct, much to the chagrin of a certain Percival King.
Relationships: Minor Percy/Zora, Percival "Percy" King/Ramsey Murdoch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Christmas Episode

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not dead!

Social customs and traditions are often silly, Detective Percival King knew this well; still, it is often considered rude not to follow them because such inaction leads to disappointment. Regardless, hanging a mistletoe in the center of the police station seemed like an HR complaint waiting to happen and Percy would have torn it from the ceiling earlier if she was aware of its placement and all the trouble it would cause her that winter's night.

Percy, with her eyes lost in a mountain of manila files, accidentally bumps into someone. Meryl is a, slightly more than usual, jittering mess before Percy. For a moment the blonde detective figures she might have collided into her friend harder than expected, the medic lost something, or stars forbid, accidentally drank caffeinated coffee. With a bite of her lip, the blonde wishes it is not the latter.

“Come on, just kizz hur already!” Shouts an unfamiliar voice across the room. Judging by the slurring in his voice, he was recently pulled in for public intoxication. But before Percy could finish her observation, Meryl gives Percy a quick peck on the cheek and scatters off in a cacophony of footsteps and apologies. After a quick confused tilt of the head and a short musing of why Meryl is so prone to the sapphic suggestions of a stranger, Percy plunges herself back into the files. This mystery was far more important than the whydunit that just occurred.

..............................

The Christmas Eve party formally starts halfway through Percy's shift. She has decided to use one of her legally obligated breaks to enjoy some free refreshments, though to be honest, the detective is a little crestfallen that none of her vegan friendly requests made it on the menu this year. After mixing celery, lime soda, and ketchup into an unholy, but work safe, version of a Bloody Mary; Percy spots Eros and walks up to greet him and give him a customary well wishes towards whatever holiday he celebrates. She notices his face turn red as she approaches. Perhaps he has been struck with a sudden fever.

“Well, I was hoping for James first.” The higher ranking policeman murmurs under his breath before giving Percy a chaste kiss on her forehead. For just a brief second, Percy can not help but think there is another male who's hair is in the red family that she would rather receive physical affection from.

“Um...” Percy's face turns blank as she takes a moment to properly process her thoughts and calculate her words. “Is there someone among our number that has the epithet of or something similar to kissing?”

Eros places a hand on his chest and lets out a quick laugh before pointing towards the ceiling.

“Oh.” Utters the detective in a voice both surprised and sour as she spots the parasitical plant hanging from the beige tiles.

..............................

Two hours before her shift is over, a familiar rat faced man comes through the door and the usual romantic gossip of her coworkers shortly follow until Ramsey enters within earshot range. He heads straight for the food table and stuffs his pockets with napkins and any wrapped foods he can find. Percy walks up behind him and before she can tap his shoulder, Ramsey turns around and greets her.

“Oh hey, Perce!” Ramsey darts his eyes for a second and begins to sweat. “I was driving by while doing some last minute errands before the stores closed and then I remembered I got something for ya.” He winks his good eye and begins to dive through his pockets but Percy fails to notice.

She's been staring at his lips the whole conversation.

After a series of increasingly worrying sounds emitting from his pockets, Ramsey produces a multimeter. “Thanks again for lending it to me, Perce. Sorry it took so long to get it back to ya.” As soon as it is placed in Percy's gloved hands, Ramsey walks away and towards the mistletoe.

“Wait!” Percy follows and reaches out for his sleeve, trying to convince herself that she is only doing this to save Ramsey from the same embarrassment and confusion she had earlier today. But when the mistletoe fell as Ramsey turned around to face Percy and her chest instantly deflated like the cheapest bargain bin balloons known to humanity; the detective realized she was just lying to herself. Percy feels sickness growing in her stomach.

“I wished to make sure you were aware of the upcoming inclement weather.” The blonde lies and if the Ratman picked up on it, he does not let it show.

“Thanks, I'll be careful.” Ramsey reassures Percy before turning around and unwittingly stepping on the mistletoe.

As Ramsey steps out of the door Percy scoops the plant and shoves it in her right pant pocket.

..............................

It is fifteen minutes before Percy's shift is over when Zora waltzes out of the supply closet, shouting for “the cute little blonde one”.

“I had some suspicions that you were the chocolate confectioneries.” The detective attempts to sound mildly congenial. No need to start a fight, on Christmas Eve no less.

“Gee, how'd ya guess?” The cowgirl smiles as she sweeps the crumbs off of her poncho. “Whelp, I' here to collect my last presen' then ride off!”

“And that would be?” Percy asks she cocks a thick eyebrow at Zora. The detective blinks and when her blue eyes open, she is greeted with the taste of jerky and chocolate on her lips.

“Nah-ah!” Zora wags her finger then points up to the ceiling. A familiar decoration is hanging from the tiles once again. “Yer not allowed to get mad. I'm just followin' the rules like a good law-abidin' citizen.”

A suspicion hits Percy and a quick rummage through her slate blue pockets reveals no mistletoe.

“I pardon for your forgiveness if I do not recall properly, but I believe you admitted that your abilities can not undo an already ceased action.” Percy quickly takes out a notepad and readies a pen.

“It's a Christmas miracle!” Zora smiles brightly before disappearing in an chronically inappropriate flash of the setting sun.

Percy is not amused.

..............................

It is less amusing when Zora kisses Percy a second time on her way out of the police station.  
Perhaps if they were both on the right side of the law, Percy briefly muses as she washes her face in the bathroom.

Still, the detective only has had her eyes out for a certain rat muzzle today.

..............................

Who happens to be standing underneath a bright parking lot light and next to her car. Judging by the amount of snow clinging to his cap and jacket, he's been waiting for her quite a bit. Ramsey smiles when he notices Percy. Her eyes linger on his lips yet again.

“Hey, my eyes are up here.” He chuckles. “But anyway, I got a little present for ya and I'm gonna have to ask you to close yours for a sec. Wasn't able to make it to the store in time to get some wrapping paper.”

A small smile creeps up on Percy's face as she rolls her eyes and obliges Ramsey's request. Her hands open themselves and patiently wait for a package. Percy jolts slightly when she feels a snowflake covered glove brush a locket of hair behind her ear followed by the cool touch of metal. While she tries to decipher what shape the hair ornament is, Percy feels a small puff of warm breath on her lips.

The kiss was quick and only split her chapped lips slightly but more than enough to turn Ramsey beet red as soon as Percy opens her eyes.

“Well, I noticed you were eyeing the mistletoe earlier and sorry. I'm just not good with pda stuff.” His words are stuttered as he accidentally tries to scratch a hole in his hood.

“That is alright Ramsey.” Percy smiles and Ramsey's face turns a previously thought impossible shade of red.

“Thanks.” Relieved, Ramsey sighs.

“But you may wish to see a medical practitioner soon.” Advises Percy.

“Huh?” Ramsey squints his eyes out of confusion.

“Zora kissed me earlier today and I have not had the time or means to properly sterilize.”


End file.
